When I Fell in Love with Myself for the First Time
“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do” — Brené Brown
When was the last time you looked in the mirror and consciously smiled? Do voices inside your head still scream “What’s wrong with me?”, “Why not me?” or “I hate being like this.”
We often forget to realize we need love, more from ourselves than others. It took me some time but I have come to accept that self-love is self-healing. The journey is not easy but surely blissful.
Who are you?
You live every day not knowing what’s going to happen tomorrow and you keep worrying about trivial things that you might not need later. The truth is everything is replaceable and nothing can bring you joy if you don’t feel it in yourself. You may get better scores, you may make more money or you may get to the top of the world but it is you that can’t be replaced, not even in a parallel universe. The ‘you’ is full of infinite potential and infinite capabilities and the ‘you’ is unique.
So have you ever asked yourself “Who are you”?
I did and I was in utter shock that I could not answer such a basic question about me. I randomly googled a few websites that could give me an answer but even those could not tell me exactly who I was.
I remembered something that I read a while back, something about writing down things that you are grateful for or things that define who you are and reflecting upon those things. I tried it out of my inability to recognize myself.
I focused on things I was grateful for and how it would have been worse if I didn’t have them in the first place. This continued for days and then I started reflecting upon things not via diary but while looking in the mirror or while gazing at the sky and even while watching a movie.
Me and The Mirror
One fine day, after taking a bath I looked in the mirror, which I never did when naked, and my eyes teared up. Since I used to be sick all the time I never quite liked the idea before. Each and every scar, visible or invisible and all my flaws were a validation of the battles I survived and I felt connected to the person in the mirror for the first time. I finally accepted the present life gave me.
Your choices speak a lot
It made me realize, had I been any different I would not have come this far. It was not only about the things that were given to me but also the choices I made to deserve those.
I chose to eat healthily, to walk instead of taking a cab for shorter distances. I liked solitude over social gatherings and stopped entertaining people or friendships that felt toxic. I did this not for the idea of looking good but because I finally listened to what my body and soul have been telling me for a long time.
Yes, there are times when I still feel low but I allow myself the space to understand it rather than escape it. And all these choices have made me who I am today.
What about you? What about your journey to self-love? Believe me, you would start to see things differently. It is not about choosing right or wrong but making it right wherever you go. Hope I took you to You!
